Monday, June 11, 2012

By Mazy

Book two
How to Survive in the Wilderness

            Hello. I’m Mazy. I’ve gotten smarter! I guess you probably read my first book. It’s hard to write with paws. I’m going to the park today with Master! Oh, boy! I love the park! I don’t know why Master is taking me to the park, though, because some of the things I’ve done in the past week had me locked in my cage. (Box, Master says when I’ve done something, but I don’t see any boxes, so I go to my cage.) I don’t know when I’ve done something good or bad. Either I’ve done something good and Master doesn’t want me to show off, or I’ve been a bad doggy and I’m being punished.
            The things I’ve done this week is digging up the yard trying to find a bone buried, chased a few cats into the house, chewed up Masters underwear (which tasted horrible, but I could smell a donut in one of them), and ran away from Master when we went on a walk (I was on an invisible string or something, so Master came with me on his stomach).
Yipee, it’s time to go to the park! Master hooked me on the invisible string, and we were off! When we got there, a new thing with letters read something. I think it said “Park”. But Master didn’t unhook me from the string. Instead he gave to man that was holding other dogs that I didn’t know. He said something, but I couldn’t understand him.
“Welcome to the park! I will unhook you from your invisible strings!” but he didn’t unhook us. Then I noticed someone I knew. It was Nico!
“Hey, Nico! How’s it going?”
“Bad. Don’t you know, Mazy? We’re in Obedience School! Didn’t you read the sign? That’s what it said.”
“I can’t read,” I said.
“Well you better learn, then!” Nico barked. The man pulled us over to an open space on the grass as we fought and struggled. But it was too late. We were learning how to be good. Learning hurts my brain! But I saw a lot of other dogs I knew. There was Piper (who lives next door), Meena (my old friend), and Mr. Bone (my arch enemy)! (By the way, what kind of name is MR. BONE? Who named him?) I learned how to sit, lie down, and wait for a person to tell me to eat a treat after they set it on my nose (which was the WORST). So I decided to sit the rest of the class. Then I lay down. Then I drove a car. Oops, I think I might of fell asleep and had my last story’s dream. But when I woke up, I was home. When I looked at my stomach I had a bunch of marks where my fur had fell off. Hmm, how could that happen? They hurt, too. I guess my master gave me some weird tattoo when I was sleeping.
            Guess what? Nico told me that the weird tattoo was drag marks!
“Those are drag marks, all right, Mazy. How stupid could you be to fall asleep at the end of the lesson?”
“Drag marks?! Those are scratches!” chimes Piper.
            Anyway, today I had another lesson. I got so bored, that I ran into the woods. My invisible string came off! Yipee, I’m a free dog! I spent the night there. Every so often, I heard people. So I moved quietly away from them. One day, I heard those darn squirrels I chased one day in here. I thought about scaring them again, but wouldn’t they run back to our huge dog house Master owns? So I didn’t. The only important thing was (besides not chasing squirrels) was food. I was hungry! But I didn’t want to go to Master again. Obedience School was HORRIBLE!!
            Well, guess what? I ended up dragging myself back to Master. He gave me food, luckily. I thought he was going to punish me by not giving me food! Then he let me outside. I tried to tell him I was sick of being outside, but he didn’t listen. I guess this is my punishment. But then he came outside and put a new collar on me and waited. I guess he was going to let me back out to the woods! The collar probably squirted out food and told people not to take me back to Master! So I tried to jump over the fence, but then then I got horrible jolt of magic! I thought Master was a normal person! But he’s probably actually a wizard. He probably made an invisible force- field!
            The next day at Obedience School, I showed Nico my new collar how cool it looked and about how Master was a wizard.
“Wizard?! Collar?! That’s a shock collar, you idiot! Your master put in an electric fence!!” Yup, that was probably it. Nico is the smart one.
“You should really run back into the woods, Mazy!”
“Alright, but what will I eat?” I ask Nico.
“There are lots of things! Fish, squirrels, half eaten garbage (make sure it’s food though), and what about wild garlic?”
“Yuck, Nico! Raw squirrel? You’re weird!”
“Start a fire! Find a cave or something to live in! You’ll be livin’ the good life!” “What’s a fire?” “Ugh, Mazy, a fire starts when you rub two sticks together and stats a flame. You’ll know when you did it when you smell smoke. Now go!” Alright, if it’s that easy, at least let me get a head start. I unhooked the leash (Nico told me it wasn’t an invisible string) and snuck away. Nobody saw me. Nobody but Nico. Alright they might find out sooner or later, but I’ll be long gone.
            Oh, boy I found a cave! Nothin’ is hibernating at this time of year. I shouldn’t have thought I was safe now, because a big brown bear came back to his cave. I yelped. Oh, no… he saw me! I made a break for it. Now, Nico said I could use a “something”. What’s a something? Aha! I found a big cave like hut caved out by the creek! That must be a something! I had water, sticks to start a fire, and food! There was a road a quarter mile from here! Nico was right. I was going to live the good life! Nobody could find me here!
            Okay, I was wrong about “nobody would find me here” thing. A family came by and took me home with them. And I had no collar with a return address! They had a kid who was about nine named Gus. They were really nice. Guess what else? They lived right next to Nico! I loved it! Afterward, I stayed with them the rest of my life!

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Dr. Dan Gerous

Dr. Dan Gerous

Dr. Dan Gerous
Nurse Odd
Sewer Man
Pogo Gun Guy

Dr. Dan Gerous: Well, It’s time for your surgery, patient!
Patient: (Nervously) Uh, are you sure you’re a doctor?
Dr. Dan is holding a fake chainsaw.
Dr. Dan Gerous: Of coarse I’m a doctor!
Dr. Dan Gerous turns the chainsaw on and puts it over the patient’s legs.
Nurse Odd: Um, sir, the patient’s surgery is up in his stomach.
Dr. Dan Gerous: Oh, my bad!
Patient: Actually, my surgery is in my hip.
Dr. Dan Gerous: Don’t correct me, I’m the doctor here!
Dr. Dan Gerous pretends to cut into the patient’s stomach by pressing on it with the fake chainsaw.
Patient: (SCREAM!)
Dr. Dan Gerous: What did you eat?! It looks like you ate a raw fish!
Dr. Dan Gerous touches the fake food lying on the patient’s stomach.
Dr. Dan Gerous: Okay, sir, there’s nothing wrong with your stomach. Now, I’m going to stitch your stomach closed now.
Nurse Odd hands some colorful yarn to Dr. Dan Gerous and he pretends to stitch the patient’s stomach together.
Dr. Dan Gerous: I’m feeling like I’m sewing together a blanket!
When Dr. Dan Gerous is done, Nurse Odd takes away the patient.
Dr. Dan Gerous: What’s that noise? It sounds like it’s coming from the sewer lid in here…
A man pushes away the cardboard lid and scrambles onto the floor. The sewer man has a fake rat in his hair.
Dr. Dan Gerous: So what are you in for, sir?
Dr. Dan Gerous pulls the sewer man out and lays him on the floor.
Sewer Man: No! I don’t have any health problems!
Dr. Dan Gerous: Stay still while I do your surgery!
Dr. Dan Gerous puts some duck tape over the sewer man’s mouth.
Dr. Dan Gerous takes a fake knife from a desk and pretends to cut into the man. The man gets away just in time before Dr. Dan Gerous pretends to cut into him and takes the duck tape off his mouth.
Sewer Man: You are a crazy man!
Dr. Dan Gerous: Get back here!
Sewer man jumps out of a window.
Dr. Dan Gerous: Great, a lost patient!
Nurse Odd: There’s another sound. It sounds like a gun!
Pogo Gun Guy: Hey, people, look at me! I invented a shotgun pogo stick! Whoa! (Use a regular pogo stick and paint it like a gun)
Pogo Gun Guy falls and fake shotgun flies into the window!
Bullet shoots out of gun and hits a mirror. (Pretend like a bullet shot)
Hitting the mirror makes it bounce off and fly back out mirror.
Dr. Dan Gerous: Sir! Look out for the bullet!
Pogo Gun Guy: What? A bullet!
Pogo gun guy jumps away from where he is like a bullet is coming toward where he was.
Pogo Gun Guy: Thanks, doc!
Dr. Dan Gerous: Any day! So, you’re in for crazy-ness.
Come in here!
Pogo Gun Guy: No! I’m getting out of here!
Dr. Dan Gerous: Oh no, you AREN’T!
Dr. Dan Gerous chases Pogo Gun Guy across stage.

(Curtains close)

Rosco and Gus 2

Once there were two best friends named Gus and Rosco. They were playing ball outside. “Go get the ball boy, and throw!” Gus said. He taught Rosco how to throw a ball. Then Gus hit the ball over two houses. “Uh, oh. We lost our ball…. But Yay! Home run!” Then dad said, “Gus, go get that ball!” So they went to find it.
Then Rosco smelled it! He got it! Gus said, “Throw it!” Then he threw it. But the wrong way! It rolled into a scientist’s lab. They got it! But they were standing on something. A glass tube went up! “Help!” They felt a shock. Not a painful one, it actually felt good. They started to float! Then Rosco thought of a squirrel. He turned into one! Then he turned back. He was standing on his hind legs! He barked. Well, not exactly a bark a,” What happened?” He could talk! Gus turned into a tree and back. When they got out, Gus ran around panicking. “Whoa, slow down Gus!” Rosco said. Gus had super fast running too! They were super heroes! They walked home. “Rosco, when we get home, act like a normal dog, and don’t think of any animals, OK?” Gus said.” Bark bark” Rosco said annoyed.
They finally got there. “Hi mom and dad. We found the ball. Can we go on another walk for…. About two hours?” “Sure,” they said. So they went. Next they flew into the air.  They went to the Paper and pen company. They made flyers that said, New Superhero’s In Town! So they hung them up. The next day they heard cries for help. They went to see what was going on. It was actually the scientist! The scientist took them back to his lab. He tried to take the super powers away. He couldn’t. So, he just sat there and cried. While he was whining, Gus and Rosco snuck out. They had kept their powers and helped fight crime. They were super hero’s forever!

Monday, January 2, 2012

Crazy Mazy

By Mazy

Book One
How to Be Lazy

Hello. I am Mazy. I am a dog. The reason I say that is because I thought you would think I am a cat. I hate cats! So I scare them away. But they just climb up our trees. I try to get up there too, but I can’t! Why can’t I climb up to scare them down? If I could climb up a tree I could scare them into the forest. There are plenty of trees there.
            Today I was in the house sleeping, minding my own business, when my master called for me. I woke up, and went to find master. He told me to get in the car and sit down on the floor. I don’t know what a floor is so I jumped up on the thing Master was on and waited. It was a very short wait because Master yelled at me and pointed down at the dirty thing that was holding the thing Master was on. I looked at him with very cute eyes.  Master sighed and left me there. I was glad because the other thing is dirty! I also didn’t want to move because, well, my feet hurt. Okay, I admit it, I’m lazy. I fell asleep in the car when we pulled out of the driveway. About five minutes later, the car slammed on the brakes. I woke up on the dirty thing that holds Master’s thing he’s sitting on. I jumped up on the thing like Master sits on and jumped on the car radio to see what was going on. I didn’t see much because Master yelled at me. So I jumped down. We turned around and went on a different road.
Ten minutes later we stopped. I saw where we were - the place that I don’t speak of. (Actually, I can’t even speak.) I guess I might as well write it. The Vet. I jumped in the back seat and then the trunk. I don’t like the Vet. I jumped at the hole in the trunk door and smashed into something. There was a force field there! Master picked me up and took me inside. We waited for the vet to call our name. I hid under the thing Master was sitting on. Then the vet called for us. I didn’t move. So Master put the leash on me and pulled me. I slid across the slippery floor. It was very embarrassing to me. I slid into the other room. First, the Vet gave me a thing on my butt that made it numb. Next, she gave me a shot. I yelped. She gave me a treat. Then the vet pet me. Next, we were getting out of there!
When we got home I didn’t even bother moving when Master opened the door. He carried me in. When we got inside I didn’t even move. I fell asleep at that same exact spot.
The next day Master went for a ride in the car without me. I was surprised! Usually he takes me with him. I went through the doggy door and got a rock. I ran to the other car with the rock and tried to throw it at the window. It didn’t work. Then I remembered-the car had a code to make it open. I went back in the house and got the paper with the code on it that Master uses when he loses the keys for that car. It is 745692. I tried it with my nose and it worked! I jumped in and started the car because the keys were already in it. I drove around the yard for some practice. Then I went down the driveway and turned. So far, so good!
I drove the way Master went and found him at his friend’s house. I drove through his friend’s fence on accident and parked in Master’s friend’s yard and jumped out. I went through the open screen door and found Master. For a second he just sat there staring at me with his mouth open. Then he said good-bye to his friend and took me home.
The next day Master’s friend called and said that our car was parked in his yard and that his fence was destroyed. Master said he didn’t know what he was talking about and looked at me. I knew I was in trouble. So I went in my cage and lay down. But Master called me and said he knew that I drove the car and that he was happy! He also said he was going to enter me in a talent show that was going to happen next week. So he did.
When the talent show came Master let me drive there. I couldn’t believe it. He got in my side and I got in on his side. We made it there safely and I didn’t do anything wrong! Master took me inside the dome where it was happening. They had two cars waiting-one for driving in the talent show and one for taking home as a prize. I drove around a track on my own and people cheered.
Then I woke up for some reason and I knew it-I was dreaming! Darn, I wanted to go to the dog store on my own, but I didn’t have money like Master. That meant I would have to get a job!

Mazy is my dog. She really is crazy and lazy! But this didn’t happen at all!

1 How to Be Lazy
2 How to Survive in the Wilderness
3 Water Dog

River - Lightening's Little Brother

Once there was a fish named River. He was a Brook Trout, like his older brother, Lightning. One time he was in school. He was waiting for the bell to ring. RRIIIINNNGGG! It was summer! Then he swam home with his friends. When he got home, he put his stuff away and swam back outside. He was going to do a friendly contest with his friends to see who could make the most fishermen fall into the water. River got the most - eighteen. His prize was a pass to the Fish Amusement Park, that had been found in the school trash can.
The next day was the Fish Olympics. He wanted to be like his older brother. River entered in Who could swim the fastest, Who could jump the highest, Who could pull the most fishermen while being timed, and Who could eat and drink the most sugar, but that one would be tomorrow. He won Who could swim the fastest, Who could jump the highest, and got second place in Who could pull in the most fishermen. His mom and Flash won the cutest baby contest.
After the Fish Olympics, River went to the Fish Amusement Park. He rode Moss Rider, Lilly Pad Bumper Boats, and the new Straw Roller Coaster, which was a drinking straw somebody threw into the water.
The next day, River was back at the Olympics. He did Who could eat and drink the most sugar. He won, but then he couldn’t stop moving! He crashed through his house! Then he finally stopped at an old town. Nobody was there. Then he heard a bark. He saw a dogfish! It came over and licked him. He liked River! He rode him back home.
River decided to name the dogfish Gill. River hoped his family liked him. “Doggy,” said Flash when he got home. “River, why did you bring a dog home?” Mom said. “ I brought him home with me because he likes me. I named him Gill,” River answered. “If Lightning and Flash like him, he can stay,” Dad said. “Whoa! A dog! Where did he come from? I like him already!” Lightning said coming in. “Me like doggy,” said Flash. “River found him. I guess he can stay,” said Mom. Gill barked. His bark meant to say, “Yahoo! People love me!”

Monday, November 14, 2011

The Adventures of Cliff the Viking and his Dragon Nightmare

and his dragon Nightmare

Chapter One
The Very Dangerous Task

Once there was a Viking named Cliff. He wasn’t like the other Vikings. He was short, skinny, and was the son of the chief, Wolf the Tremendous, a whale of a person. He was a poor sword fighter, only weighed fifty pounds unlike the other boys, because they weighed about two-hundred pounds. He wasn’t violent either, like everyone was. He studied dragons by sitting on the beach and watching Wild Dragon Rock. It was very wild indeed. There were dragons EVERYWHERE in Wild Dragon Rock. He made drawings, profiles, and even learned a language called Dragonese. He had always wanted a dragon. And that was about to happen. His Viking teacher, Hardy the Fat, walked up to Cliff with the other boys, Snotty, Boar (Snotty’s friend), Bollixed, Weaking (Cliff’s best and only friend), and Berserk. Cliff was on the beach studying Wild Dragon Rock. Hardy threw his helmet at Cliff. Cliff immediately put away his drawings and profiles very quickly because Vikings weren’t supposed to be sitting around (unless they are sleeping) studying. It is very hard to explain. They are supposed to be training to become true Vikings. Hardy said, “Cliff, are you ready to go on the Very Dangerous Task?” (The Very Dangerous Task is when kids are trained enough to go to Wild Dragon Rock to get a baby dragon.) “Y-y-yes, sir” replied Cliff nervously. So they swam to Wild Dragon Rock, climbed up the rocks, and scrambled up onto the cliff. They all went into the cave quietly. They went in about forty feet and saw nothing but dragons - big dragons, little dragons, ANY size you can think of. But they were all sleeping. Weaking was the first to pick up a baby dragon and put it into his bag. Weaking ran out of there quietly and jumped off the cliff and plunged into the water. The other boys kept on going deeper into the cave. They knew there were better dragons deeper in the cave, and the only ones that were up front were the commons and casuals. The better ones were the Red Fangs, Poisonous White-claws (Poisonous White-claws have talons that have poison that can turn on and off, and only get poisonous when BONKERS mad), Invisible Nightmares, and several more. Snotty picked a Red Fang and his friend Boar picked a Poisonous White-claw. Bollixed picked a Green Tooth and Berserk picked a Glue Bomb (Glue Bombs have bombs that have a sticky coating that stinks to enemies. It doesn’t shoot a bomb at anything but dragons that hurt it. Bombs are not fatal.) That left Cliff. He picked up a Black Midnight. They are hard to train and disobey a lot. But he just wanted to get out of there and picked any baby dragon and didn’t even look at it. He put it in his bag and plunged into the water.

Chapter Two
Cliff’s Dragon

          All the boys got back to shore with their dragons. They scrambled onto the beach and looked at their dragons. “Oh, boy. I got a Black Midnight. Oh no,” said Cliff. Black Midnights want people to think they’re harmless so they can make their teeth go up into their gums and their talons can go into toes. Cliff named him Nightmare. “Ooooh, what is that? It doesn’t even have any teeth,” laughed Snotty. Then Nightmare attacked Snotty without his teeth or talons. Cliff and the other boys just stood there watching Snotty screaming a lot. Weaking started giggling. Then all the boys were laughing like crazy! Even the adult Vikings joined in! Believe me, if something like that happens the whole village will start laughing. Nightmare turned around in a circle like a dog, pooped in Snotty’s mouth, lay down on Snotty’s chest, and made his talons shoot out of his toes into Snotty’s chest. “AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!” screamed Snotty. His scream traveled all the way to Fatty Treacherous Viking Island. Snotty ran all the way to his house. Cliff picked up Nightmare and told him, Don’t do that to me, Nightmare.”* “Are you talking to me? Hmm. So my name is Nightmare. So you must be my master. Don’t do what to you? Nightmare replied. Cliff said, Don’t attack me like you did to that guy running away.” “Oh, fine,” said Nightmare grumpily. So they walked to the training center.

***    Cliff is speaking to Nightmare in Dragonese. Dragons speak it. Very few humans speak this language.

Chapter Three
Training Nightmare

          They finally got to the training cages. They went into the cage and started training. First, they had to practice hunting skills. They used a life-size deer dummy and had to walk quietly up to it and pounce on it to make it fall over. They spent a lot of time on this because Nightmare flew around in circles screaming, Food, food!” Cliff gave him meat. After Nightmare finished the meat he plopped onto the ground and waited for more. “Now, Nightmare, I want you to crouch down on the ground and crawl up to that deer. Then, you’re going to pounce onto it very hard to make it fall over,” Cliff said. Nightmare replied, What do I get if I do?” Cliff sighed and said, You’ll get more meat.” That got Nightmare to do it. Cliff gave him more meat. Now, Nightmare, do it again without any more meat and I will be proud,” Nightmare did for some reason. Then Cliff knew it: Nightmare wants people to be proud. He made Nightmare do it one more time. Okay, Nightmare, attack that deer and make me even more proud!” “Why would I want you to be proud?” “Wait, why did you do it last time?” “Because, from eating meat, it made my meaty mouth go into the deer, so it tasted like meat.” “Oh, brother. Okay, Nightmare, let’s go home.”

Chapter Four
That Night…

        Cliff let Nightmare sleep in his deer skin bed. It was cold without a dragon! Dragons heat up when they sleep. Cliff fell asleep at 11:43. Nightmare woke up in the middle of the night at 1:23. He jumped out of Cliff’s bed and went into Wolf’s room. He jumped on Wolf’s bed and pooped on Wolf’s face. Then he grabbed some frosting, put it on Wolf’s hand, put some arrows on his face, and ran away. Wolf screamed louder than Snotty! He held his face which put frosting on his face and poop on his hand. The scream woke EVERYONE up in the village. “Dad, are you alright?!” Cliff said. “Does it look like I’m alright?” Wolf said angrily. Cliff started to laugh. “What’s so funny?” Cliff handed Wolf a mirror. Wolf screamed, “WHO DID THIS?!” “Well, that’s fresh dragon poop, so it was definitely a dragon,” Cliff said still laughing. Wolf went to the pig pen and jumped in the mud. Vikings take baths in pigs’ mud. That got the poop and frosting off. So he went to get clothes on. But his clothes weren’t where he left them. He looked all around his cabin but couldn’t find them. He ran all around the village still naked. Nightmare had them. He was running toward the marsh and Wolf saw him. Nightmare put some soap in the marsh and made it a bubble bath. Wolf jumped in the marsh for his clothes. He finally got them. But he smelled good. That was bad for Vikings because they were supposed to smell nasty. “NOOOOO!” Wolf screamed. The rest of the day he lay in pig and dragon poop or swam in a deep mud hole. He finally smelled nasty after eleven hours of laying in poop and mud. He was MAD.

Chapter Five
Dragon Fight

        Well, as you know that Wolf was mad at the dragon who messed with him, each dragon argued over who did it. Wacky, Berserk’s dragon, blamed Fireclaw, Snotty’s dragon, Baffle, Bollixed dragon, blamed the book-shelf (Baffle is stupid and clueless just like Bollixed—a perfect mix), and, okay, who cares about the other dragons, lets get to the dragon fight, Boar’s dragon, Rowdy, blamed Nightmare and Nightmare blamed Rowdy. I did not do it, you butthole! Nightmare lied. Rowdy said, “DO NOT CALL ME BUTTHOLE OR I WILL MAKE YOU GO INTO MY BUTTHOLE! And I did not do it, YOU did it!” “No, YOU did it, Rowdy” “No, you did it, un-nightmare!” “DON’T call me un-nightmare or I really will be your nightmare! When I’m done with you you’ll be crying for a diaper and shivering with fear.” “We’ll see about THAT”  “DRAGON FIGHT!” yelled Cliff. Rowdy scratched Nightmare and Nightmare curled his little hand up into a fist and did an uppercut at Rowdy but missed and hit himself. Nightmare was MAD now. He scratched his initials into Rowdy’s skin. Rowdy growled and jumped at Nightmare. He hit the floor and turned really quick. Now all the boys were yelling for a dragon to win. “NIGHTMARE, NIGHTMARE!” cheered one half of the boys. “ROWDY, ROWDY!” yelled the other half of the boys. Now the dragons were fighting SO fast that it was just a big blur. After about an hour of that the two dragons got tired and plopped onto the ground and panted harder than an exhausted dog.

Chapter Six

          Once the fight was over, the boys tried to figure out who did it. (As you know that Nightmare did it, the boys did not know) “Well it was maybe Rowdy because he instantly got mad and sensitive as soon as Nightmare blamed him,” said Cliff. “IT WAS NOT, YOU LOSER!” screamed Boar. “A-a-alright, alright it wasn’t Rowdy.” said Cliff very scared. “I think it was this thingy that holds-that holds-ummm, ohhhh, I know this, uhhh, OH! I know, groups of paper. I’ve been watching it for a long time….” said Bollixed. “I think it was un- nightmare,” said Snotty and Boar. Okay, I admit it, Rowdy and I did it,” admitted Nightmare. Rowdy was not listening right now because he was too busy taking a poop on the wooden couch. “Alright! I know what dragon did it because Nightmare here just told me! It was him and Rowdy!” Cliff said. That perked Rowdy up. “I TOLD YOU IT WASN’T ME, LOSER! IT WAS JUST UN-NIGHTMARE!!!” “Okay, geez, Rowdy! It was just Nightmare.” “I knew it!” said Snotty. While this was happening, Nightmare was running to the Soothing Spa Beds. (The Soothing Spa Beds was just a meadow with a bunch of moss.) Nightmare jumped in, and swam to the bottom of the meadow. But then he smelled something. It was old treasure! It took him about twenty minutes to dig it out. What made him stay underwater that long, like most dragons, have gills right by their eyes. Twenty minutes was long enough for the boys to realize that Nightmare wasn’t there. So, they started to try to find him. All the dragons sniffed around to find Nightmare’s scent. They finally found his smell and found the Soothing Spa Beds. Then, Nightmare burst out with an old treasure chest! It was full of treasure! On the box it said:


Cliff knew that name right away. Edvard was a cruel, mean, and VERY good pirate. He defeated Ol’ Blackbeard. He beat One Eyed Willie. He sunk Pirate Pete. These were all very good pirates, but Edvard was better. His crew even was perfect. He was also Cliff’s great, great, great grandpa. “This is my great, great, great grandfather’s treasure!” Cliff said excitedly. “Let’s open it!” the boys said. “I should open it, since I am the best Viking here,” Snotty said. He reached toward the treasure until Cliff stopped him. “Oh, look who’s stopping me. Ohhhh, I’m SO scared!” laughed Snotty. “I should open it. Edvard is my great, great, great grandfather. So don’t even touch it,” said Cliff coldly and scared. “Ohhh, what are you gonna do if I DO touch it?” Snotty said. Cliff whistled for Nightmare. “Oh, crud.” Snotty backed away from Nightmare. Nightmare, get him,” Cliff said in Dragonese. With pleasure,” Nightmare said with a nasty grin on his face. RIP!  Nightmare sliced Snotty’s pants off. Snotty ran home screaming with Nightmare running after him. He also wanted to get more pants on. He didn’t want to be like Wolf. But he was because the other Vikings were watching. They started laughing! Wolf was walking in front of Snotty and didn’t see him. Snotty ran into him and knocked him over. Wolf got up and didn’t see Nightmare so he fell over again. “Curse you rascals!” Wolf said. Now Nightmare was caught up with Snotty and bit him in the butt. “AAHHHHH!” Snotty screamed. While that was happening, Cliff was opening the treasure up. He found a bunch of doubloons inside! He even found Edvard’s famous sword the Blood Blade! They also found another treasure map! It said the other treasure was on the Isle of Danger. This island has thousands of dragons called Danger Spikes. Danger Spikes are dragons who are VERY fatal. If one bites you, you’re done for. If one scratches you, you have ten hours to live. The only cure for the scratch is to eat poop from some sort of animal called a lion. NOBODY in the Viking territory knew what a lion was. It was somewhere in this so-called place called Africa. Only Edvard the Pirate has been to this so-called Africa because everyone else was afraid to go there. Everyone thought that the Earth was square and if you went to far off, you would fall off the edge. It took two YEARS for Edvard to get there. So if you gotten scratched, you’re done for. But, the Island of Treacherous Tots had a lion. But that place is HARD to get into. If you get in, you never come out. Sort of like Cincinnati, People don’t go to Cincinnati, they LEAVE Cincinnati but It’s the other way around. (I got that thing about Cincinnati from a movie, so don’t blame me) Cliff didn’t show the treasure map to the other boys because they would want to go to find it. He DEFINETLY didn’t show or tell Wolf.

Chapter Seven
The Isle of Danger

          One night Cliff was looking at the map. At 1:43 AM he fell asleep. He didn’t wake up when The Blower Sounder blew. (The Blower Sounder is a horn that wakes all the Vikings up. It is EXTREMLY loud when blown) Wolf walked into Cliff’s room and found the map. He took one look at it, ran outside and hollered, “ADVENTURE!” Everyone knew what that meant. They packed up, and went to the Viking ship, The Wave Rider, without even eating breakfast. Cliff woke up, heard the Viking boat horn, which sounded like a wounded duck, and jumped out of bed franticly. He awoke Nightmare and took him and meat. Finally, he got to the boat and climbed up into it. Everyone was already in except Weaking when he got up into the boat. And believe me, it is VERY hard to climb up a Viking boat. “Oh, look who’s here now. It’s loser boy,” said Snotty. “Where are we going and where is Weaking?” Cliff said, ignoring what Snotty said. “WAIT, WAIT!” shouted Weaking when the boat started out for sea. He climbed up the boat and said,”What?” because all the boys were looking at him panting. He isn’t a very good runner. (Oh, did I mention that Weaking is the only boy who is worse than Cliff at being a Viking? And being a Viking includes A LOT of running to practice making an escape.) “Okay I’ll tell you where we’re going, losers, we’re going to the Isle of Danger,” Snotty said. “WHAT?!!” said Cliff and Weaking. Cliff remembered he didn’t see Edvard the Pirate’s map on his bed that morning. “DAD!!!” yelled Cliff. Wolf heard this, and he knew there was a problem because Cliff usually NEVER yells. He rushed over and said, “Alright, alright, what is it?” “ARE YOU CRAZY?! WE CAN’T GO TO THE ISLE OF DANGER!” “Why not?” “Hello, DUH, killer dragons are there!” They argued and argued about going to the Isle of Danger until they got there. “HA! We’re already there! NO TURNING BACK!” Wolf shouted. So, everyone jumped out, and walked into the cave. The sand was a reddish- orange color, the trees were dead and claw marks were covered over them, and the cave was VERY dirty. Wolf shouted, and the dirty cave grew eyes, and they weren’t dragon eyes, they were BAT eyes. They all flew out of the cave like a flood of water crashing into a big door. Then the cave was SUPER clean. It was grey and sparkly, but very gloomy and dark. Issa scary here. So dark! Let’s get OUT of here!” said Nightmare. Cliff replied, Yeah, I’m scared, too. I wish we could get out of here.” They kept on going deeper into the cave. The more they went in, the more scarier it got. They hadn’t seen any dragons yet. Then when they got to see dragons, Wolf stopped. He got out a shovel and started digging. After about a half an hour of digging, he found the treasure! He scraped the dirt of the treasure box and threw it far behind him. He pulled out the treasure and picked it up. But then the dirt that Wolf flung behind him landed on a Danger Spike. It woke up with a jolt and smelled Vikings. It smelled it easy to smell them because they smelled BAD! He followed the smell and found them. Then one of the Vikings stepped on it, and Vikings are HEAVY. It blacked out after being stepped on. The bad part about hurting a Danger Spike is that they scream loudly after. It woke the other dragons up and they chased the smell. “Hey, Wolf, do you hear that?” Hardy asked. “Oh, no. The Danger Spikes!” The dragons now caught up with the Vikings and the Vikings ran away! Weaking fell behind because as you know, he is slow. Just as he thought that he was done for, Cliff lifted him and caught up with the Vikings. They jumped onto the boat and sailed away! They still had Edvard’s treasure! Then, Cliff fell onto the floor of the boat. There was a scratch on his leg! “Take us to the Island of Treacherous Tots!” Wolf yelled to the sailor when he saw this. “Aye, aye, sir!” The sailor went to the Island of Treacherous Tots. Luckily, they were having a party on the far side of the island. The went into the Circle of Doom where the lion was. The lion was sleeping but the slightest move could wake it up. Wolf walked around the dome and tried to find some lion poop. Finally, he found some poop, but it was right next to the lion. He picked it up and put it in Cliff’s mouth. Cliff ate it, but then, Boar farted. The lion woke up and saw fresh meat. The lion chased them around the dome! “Quick, guys, get on this!” Weaking shouted to the boys. They jumped onto the dragon that Weaking was on and flew out of the dome. Where to, people?” the dragon asked kindly. To that boat!” Cliff answered. The rider dragon flew to them to their boat. Thank you,” said Cliff. WHAT? Are you talking to me? People NEVER say thank you to me! Thank you for saying thank you! Um, can I stay with you?” said the rider dragon. “UH, sure you can stay with me!” Cliff said. They sailed back to their island with the treasure, Cliff, and the rider dragon.

The End!

Wednesday, November 2, 2011



Once it was Halloween night. A sixteen year old teenager named Griffon was out trick-or-treating when he walked up to a house. It had really scary decorations – at least he thought they were decorations. The porch light was on, so he walked up and rang the doorbell. Then the porch light turned off. He thought the person living there turned it off on purpose, but the light just shorted out.
So Griffon went back home, got some eggs and toilet paper, and went back to that house. He threw the eggs and toilet paper at the house. He heard a loud grunt, and a rug shot out and wrapped around him like a tongue! He couldn’t scream because the tongue-like rug was covering his mouth. The rug took him inside the house and dropped him on the floor. He tried to open the door but it wouldn’t open. Griffon was a football player so he tried his tackle. The door would not budge. Then a deep voice said, “Find the back door… Mwahahahaha!” so he went to find the back door.
He went into the next room which happened to be the living room. It was dark and creepy with spider webs everywhere. He kept on walking when he stepped on something gross. It was a tarantula! Griffon ran away from it quickly. The next room was covered with blood! It was the kitchen. There was a guy sitting at the table. He heard the deep voice again, and it said, “I have many people staying with me…You might want to be careful!” The guy at the table said, “I am Doctor K. Illing. Would you like some finger food?” Griffon shook his head. He ran out of that room and was stopped by a cloaked figure with a large knife. He pushed the cloaked figure over and ran to the next room. It was a bedroom. There were three coffins on the floor. Griffon heard hissing. He looked up and saw three vampires  - one mom, one dad, and one boy. He ran out of that room as fast as he could.
The next room was the bathroom. Griffon had to go to the bathroom after all that. So he lifted the toilet seat up, and out popped a Reaper and scary guy in a hockey mask with a chainsaw covered with poop! They smelled AWFUL! Then Griffon peed his pants. He ran to the winding stairs in the bathroom and went up to the next room.
A person was waiting who said, “Well done, well done! You survived! Here is the back door.” It was the guy with the deep voice! Griffon went out the back door. But then he remembered that he was upstairs and there were no stairs to get outside. Then the guy with the deep voice threw an egg at Griffon. Griffon fell out the back door! Then the guy with the deep voice whistled and two Pit-bulls chased Griffon around! Then the Pit-bulls got him!
Griffon woke up. It was a dream! But his bed was wet. He peed in his bed! Ever since that dream, he slept with his parents.


Tuesday, October 25, 2011


The Kid and Father

          Once there was a kid named Hawk Jones. He was nine years old. He lived in Grayling forest. Hawk was an orphan and he ran away from the orphanage. The only thing he brought with him was his pocket-knife. Hawk lived in a small cave. He had animal friends. Their names were Croakus the frog, Lightning the fish, Shadow the stray dog, and Beakers the hawk. Hawk had Shadow as a pet. Shadow was a good dog and he loved Hawk very much. Hawk made Shadow a bed of hay he found. Hawk’s bed was made of soft bark. He stripped the bark off with his knife. He also knew how to lash. It’s a special way of tying something together. Hawk lashed up a raft to get across the river.

This next part is about a kid walking with his father in Grayling forest and meets Hawk.

Once Hawk was getting water from the creek for him and Shadow. While Hawk was doing that a little kid named Johnny asked his dad if they could go walk in Grayling forest. “Sure, we can walk in the forest, son.” So they went to walk in the forest.
          A little while later Johnny got thirsty. “Dad, can I get a drink from the creek, please?” “Sure” While Johnny was getting a drink, Johnny thought he heard a bush shake and froze. Then he heard it again. Johnny saw toes sticking out of the bushes. So he walked over to the bush and slowly pulled back the branches-and saw Hawk! They both screamed and ran away.
Johnny told his dad what happened and said they should try to find him. So they followed his footprints and found him! They all ran. Hawk ran over to his raft and jumped on. He paddled across very fast. Johnny and his dad couldn’t get across so they found another way. They found a big log and rolled it over to the river. Then they crossed and found Hawk and chased him again.
Then Hawk climbed up a tree like Nutty the squirrel taught him. It was good for Johnny and his dad because they had brought their rope with them. Johnny threw the rope up on a branch and climbed up. Then Hawk whistled for Beakers and jumped. Then Beakers appeared and caught Hawk with his claws and flew away with Hawk. Beakers dropped Hawk at Hawk’s cave.
All day Hawk thought about what happened and then jumped on Shadow and rode on him until he found the people (Johnny and his dad). He didn’t run away this time. He decided they were nice and wanted to talk to them. So he talked to them until Shadow was hungry. Hawk said good-bye and rode on Shadow back home. You want to know what happened when Hawk talked to Johnny and Johnny’s dad? They became friends.


1 The Kid and Father
2 The white wolf
3 A New Friend

Saturday, October 22, 2011

OUR TRIP OUT WEST (2009) - Part One

        On our trip out west was very exciting! First, we rented a mini-van. Man, it was dirty! We even found a French fry in the trunk! So we brought it home and cleaned it out.    
We left at 10:00 PM on Friday night. We started out to Boulder, Colorado first to meet our friend Jay. On the way there, we stopped for gas and the bathroom in Minooka, Illinois. Then we all fell asleep there. Every 30 or 40 minutes, I woke up complaining that I was uncomfortable (I regret that). During the night at about 2:00 AM, we saw a car going full speed while carrying a mattress on its hood! 

I was only 6 when I drew this. I am a MUCH better drawer now.

     The next day, we went through Iowa and made it to Nebraska. In Nebraska, we saw a few Crop Dusters. One went so low that it skimmed the crops! I drew a picture of it. It was hard because it was moving so fast. I managed to do it anyway. Then we stopped for lunch at Taco John’s in York, Nebraska. While we were there, I decided to act up (I regret that, too). Then my Dad said, “Don’t make me make a scene in front of all these people and spank you!” And I replied, “That’s a bit drastic, don’t you think?” Shelby and Mommy burst out laughing, probably thinking, at only six years old, where the heck does he come up with this stuff?
We finally made it to Colorado, where we were looking for a restaurant to celebrate Shelby’s Birthday. We invited Jay and his Australian friend, Bec. We found a Red Lobster and waited for Jay. After celebrating, we followed Jay to his apartment. Jay and I played with my army guys and talked. We slept at his apartment and woke up the next morning at about 9:00 AM, and decided to let Jay sleep, and wrote a note goodbye and left :(.We all had a good time with Jay, but it was time to continue our adventure.

This story is true. You can ask Jay and he’ll say it happened- If he remembers. There will be more of this story.